I'm not so sure!

Actually i be thinking about sum question vry long time ago!!
Do i really noe what i want...
want ~ (I not really sure, but, i just wish to learn hair dressing n after got extra then go study photography)
love ~ (Actually i not sure who i love n like, coz now i don't know what is love o like any more ,i totally freking out)
family ~ (I totally no idea how to help my family , coz i also a bit fiance promble too ,but ,when i earn money i sure let them to relax n enjoy they life! i' promise)
friend ~(sometime when my friend need to help , i can't help any thing ,just sit down and lister what happen to him/her ,i'm totally useless! shit!)
my best ~(even though i done my best , in some ppl eye ,i'm never done my best~ chsss~~~)
happy ~ (some time i not really happy , i just acting that i'm happy , coz i always got a big big smile on my face, i just don't want any one to worry about me, especially my family)
i 'm annoying ~(why why why? Do them really that hate me , is yes! just say so , don't hurt me like this , i feel so pain then they say it strightly to me T^T)
I'm not bad ~(I not a bad gal ,i'm nt a good gal erither,coz i need to protect myself, i can't let any ppl to hurt me any more~)
child~ (in they eye i always a kid ,never grow , them always worry about me this n that, but them never say any thing , them just look at me quitely ,coz i need to grown uo ,them know it , always ! but , don't woli ~ i always love them always be)
careless ~ (I'm not careless , i just acting i don't care ,but i really do care about them !)
whatever , i just wish next year is a wonderfull year n every thing is going to be great to me ~^^